I don't wanna grow up. I'm not ready to do it on my own. I'm not brave enough. I've never been confident when I'm alone. Can I not do this yet?

No.

Reality struck and it totally suck.

I can't even enjoy my holiday even after SPM cause there's so much deciding to do. I've always been indecisive. I'm afraid that once I step out and if I'm wrong, I can't go back. What will happen to me? I want to make the right choice, the choice I won't regret, the step I won't turn back on. But what is it? What's the choice?

Struggling between what I like and what I'm capable of.

I like to get my hands on stuff. That's why I had thoughts like taking event management or interior design and courses in art and design. But then... I heard what AnYong's dad said, and what my mom thinks. They think I'm too smart for courses like that. (A little narcissistic to say it myself!) I'm not disagreeing, I'm quite smart *smirks* I mean, I study in the first class and my ranking had maintained within 20 in the past 2 years in science stream. It's an accomplishment I'm proud of. Does this mean I am actually capable of taking better courses other than art and design? Though interior design is not as easy as it seems, event management... People say it's the kind of course for people who can't study, which I am not worth studying for. I'm not sure of the accuracy of this statement, but I kinda agree with it. So maybe I'm dropping out that option in my list..
So it's interior design left. But then I have my doubts about it. I totally got cut off with arts 2 years ago. And I can't tell if I have the creativity to be a designer. For years and years of Star NIE, I know that I can't think out of the box. I'm just not that kind of person.

But what to do? I seriously don't want to go back studying like a nerd anymore. I'm sick and tired of studying....

Or am I?

I'm really confused.. Someone counsel me...