Still remember when I first started to learn how to ride a bike. No one was there to teach me and I only had a big bike. My size that time was way smaller than the bike. And I could only ride around that small garden of mine. (Though it's not really small, but for a big bike.. Yeah..)

Come to think of it, I really was very persistent. I fell a lot - against the gate. And had my arms and legs filled with bruises. But I picked myself and the bike up, and continued.

So I was that willing to get hurt just to learn how to ride a bike. For a 7 year old ( I think), pretty impressive :D (Praising myself, I know)

I was once a person that has exactly no idea of traditional singing. And I started learning when I entered Heng Ee choir.

At first, I thought it was somewhat like modern singing. But I was wrong. Everything was different. You don't use your so called "real voice" to sing traditional songs. And the technique is another matter.

I kept on going to choir lessons isn't because I really liked it. I just didn't want to write letters cause I don't know how. So I kept going. Somehow I knew I was meant to be there

I knew I wasn't singing properly. Not "the voice" teacher wants. I didn't know how, I didn't understand. But all I could do was to sing and dedicate my voice. I know I was loud. I wasn't afraid that they'd listen to my terrible technique of singing. I believed I was still not-that-bad. Yes, I was narcissistic like that. (I am still.. A little.) I just blared and hope my voice can make a difference - good different. I was afraid of being critisized because I might not be able to be strong enough to hold back my tears. I'm still that way. So I tried my best just to get things right. Right what they wanted.

I went through those times when I wasn't chosen for the competition in form 1, successfully get myself into the Blue team when I was in form 2, and finally got myself a spot in the white team when I was in form 3. Come to think of it, a lot of things had change throughout the years.

My first chance to streghthen my skills was when I joined the team to compete in China. I experienced new practice environments. Like standing up one by one and sing solo - means tremble-till-you-can't-sing. I still remember how I sang it and how my senior reacted. I was.. embarrassed actually. It was really terrible. But singing with them makes me feel safe, it's like they're always there to support you, but to repay them, you must do your part as well. And that was what I did and what I'm still doing.

The time when I really know how to use the 'technique' was when I joined the solo competition this year. I really got it now. But it's depressing when the feeling keeps slipping away. It's hard to grasp but you just have to try. I kept trying and trying.

All along, I kept trying. I learn. I fall. I get up. And fall again. But I will never stop. Because I chose to live this life. I never regret joining choir and I never will.

I sincerely hope the younger ones can understand their part in our big family. It really depressed every time I hear them sing. They give up so easily. They aren't willing to try. They always disappoint us...

Sometimes I just hope I can scream them in their faces: SING!!! WHY WON'T YOU SING?!?! HAVE YOU GONE IN THE WRONG CLUB??? 

Please........ Give us your voice. Show us your efforts. We won't be able to hold on to you guys for long. You have to stand on your own now..

P/s. not just those younger ones.. STUPID BOYS. DON'T DARE TO SING. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF ANYWAY?! ISIT SO HARD FOR YOU TO PUT EFFORT IN YOUR SINGING?! ISIT?!?

Hey y'all (though I know there's no "y'all" here).
First time blogging with my phone. Pretty nice, maybe I should do this often :))

At my grandma's.. Listening to my uncle singing... (he can't sing!!!)
But it doesn't matter, the music is still louder than his singing.

Speaking of singing. It reminds me of choir.
It was pretty awesome this morning cause something is finally in shape.
Not until the "only girls" group. That totally blew up the teacher's mood.
I admit I was terrible too. I kept singing the wrong and suddenly using the wrong technique, all that..
Gonna use more effort to overcome that tmr.

I said I was gonna practice when I get home.
But it's night time already and I'm afraid that I will be too loud :x
But I gotta practice! Ahh, what to do...


Twitter used to be some place I can actually write things I can't tell others.
But as more and more people are joining Twitter - and follow me, I can't simply write things anymore :(
I don't know I just HAVE to write it on Twitter. I mean, you can write it in diaries and stuff.
But I don't know, I just like writing there.
It's weird that since I don't want people to know my complaints, I still want to write it on a social website.
It really is weird.


So. Another day tmr.
Hope things will go as well as today's.
I kept feeling that my throat will burst any day.
The fear.......