I was once a person that has exactly no idea of traditional singing. And I started learning when I entered Heng Ee choir.

At first, I thought it was somewhat like modern singing. But I was wrong. Everything was different. You don't use your so called "real voice" to sing traditional songs. And the technique is another matter.

I kept on going to choir lessons isn't because I really liked it. I just didn't want to write letters cause I don't know how. So I kept going. Somehow I knew I was meant to be there

I knew I wasn't singing properly. Not "the voice" teacher wants. I didn't know how, I didn't understand. But all I could do was to sing and dedicate my voice. I know I was loud. I wasn't afraid that they'd listen to my terrible technique of singing. I believed I was still not-that-bad. Yes, I was narcissistic like that. (I am still.. A little.) I just blared and hope my voice can make a difference - good different. I was afraid of being critisized because I might not be able to be strong enough to hold back my tears. I'm still that way. So I tried my best just to get things right. Right what they wanted.

I went through those times when I wasn't chosen for the competition in form 1, successfully get myself into the Blue team when I was in form 2, and finally got myself a spot in the white team when I was in form 3. Come to think of it, a lot of things had change throughout the years.

My first chance to streghthen my skills was when I joined the team to compete in China. I experienced new practice environments. Like standing up one by one and sing solo - means tremble-till-you-can't-sing. I still remember how I sang it and how my senior reacted. I was.. embarrassed actually. It was really terrible. But singing with them makes me feel safe, it's like they're always there to support you, but to repay them, you must do your part as well. And that was what I did and what I'm still doing.

The time when I really know how to use the 'technique' was when I joined the solo competition this year. I really got it now. But it's depressing when the feeling keeps slipping away. It's hard to grasp but you just have to try. I kept trying and trying.

All along, I kept trying. I learn. I fall. I get up. And fall again. But I will never stop. Because I chose to live this life. I never regret joining choir and I never will.

I sincerely hope the younger ones can understand their part in our big family. It really depressed every time I hear them sing. They give up so easily. They aren't willing to try. They always disappoint us...

Sometimes I just hope I can scream them in their faces: SING!!! WHY WON'T YOU SING?!?! HAVE YOU GONE IN THE WRONG CLUB??? 

Please........ Give us your voice. Show us your efforts. We won't be able to hold on to you guys for long. You have to stand on your own now..

P/s. not just those younger ones.. STUPID BOYS. DON'T DARE TO SING. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF ANYWAY?! ISIT SO HARD FOR YOU TO PUT EFFORT IN YOUR SINGING?! ISIT?!?